Have I Mentioned I Hate Flying?

Just to get this out of the way before I begin, I have to know – who in their right mind brings two kids under the age of three on a plane with carry-on pieces consisting of two pissed off cats and a DVD player with no headphones? For the longest leg of my flight, that Hell’s Harmony was one row behind me.

As for thy flying in general, I am really weird about it. It’s not that I fear getting up in the air, or that we’re going to crash. My flying freak outs are less common. And probably a lot less valid.

One thing that freaks me out is Deep Vein Thrombosis. I’m certain this not a normal fear. But I’m really weird about blood clots. So I choke down an aspirin before boarding,  and I move constantly while I’m on the plane. Ankle circles, mini leg circles. I probably get more exercise on a plane than I do on a normal day at home. By the time I land both the back of my calves and the tops of my thighs hate me.

I also have a fear of irony. How idiotic is that? It doesn’t happen all that often, but every now and then there’s a story in the news about a member of the military losing his life in an auto, plane or freak accident on the day they return from war to their families. So if there is a happy soldier on my flight on his way home to his family, I freak out a little bit, afraid that the evil little devil irony is going to strike us out of the sky.

Once I’m on the plan and in the air, I’m okay. Sure, I do my little exercises and such, but my anxiety just drops away for the most part.

So I was thrilled when the departure board flipped every flight over to delayed 10 minutes before I was supposed to board. 1 Hour. 2 Hours. Cancelled. Dammit. This was after Google maps had already  tried to convince me to drive off-road through a forest.

New ticket issued for a later flight, but I should still make my connection, as long as teleporting across terminals was an option.

Then, wait. THAT flight was cancelled and the ORIGINAL flight was back on the board. So I was paged again, given back the original flight, but now that flight is late enough so I’ll miss my connection.

Naturally, I get called to the kiosk for a new itinerary and boarding pass for a new connection that gets to San Diego 2 hours later than the other one.

I barely had enough time to let those responsible for picking me up know about the change of plans before it was time to board my first flight.

While I was on the plane, they came to find me with another new itinerary. My original connection flight was delayed due to mechanical issues, so they put me back on that flight, too.

Mechanical failure. Um, thanks?

I barely made my connection, with a quick call to California to let them know the original plan was back on.

Hours and hours, and many ankle circles later, we began our decent into San Diego.

Wait. Wasn’t this flight supposed to stop in Phoenix to pick up more passengers?

So what time is it?

6:30 PM Pacific time. My very first itinerary had me landing in California at 7:15. Somehow, despite cancellations, delays and around a half-dozen changes in plans, I made it to California early.




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