MOM! There’s a Head in the Fridge!


My husband and I play tricks on each other, sometimes leaving goofy things around the house for each other to stumble upon, but sometimes we aim to scare. Actually, I’ll play tricks like that on any of my friends. And my favorite kind are the ones that take a year or so off the life of my victim friend.

I may have once hidden in the backseat of my best friend’s car and waited until she got out of work, drove home and put the car in park before leaping out of the backseat to grab her.

I might have wrapped a rubber mask around the inside of  a translucent paper towel canister in the bathroom at a former work place. Think the head in a jar that Clarice Starling found in Your Self Storage in The Silence of the Lambs. No one even noticed for three days, but we all knew when it was finally discovered.

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It’s also possible that I put a replica of Linda Blair’s head from The Exorcist into a co-worker’s drawer.

I might have walked 11 blocks to stand, wearing a Halloween mask, outside the window of the house another friend was babysitting in when we were 13 years old.

It’s a bad habit, but one that I approach with such glee that I find it heard to break. It seems my husband has the same problem. Though we packed Linda Blair away when our son was three, we have this other head. It’s a hair dresser’s practice head I have no idea where on earth it came from, or which one of us two morons brought it home (my vote is hubs).

You may have heard about this head before (Linda’s, too), as we used to play peek-a-boo with it for the little. It was one of the reasons for the “Will Eat People” column on my shameful Scorecard post last year.

After a while, I packed this head away, too.

But last week hubs and the boy were cleaning in the attic and out came the mannequin head. And she’s been making the rounds ever since.

The little keeps peeking her head around the door frame while I’m working, giggling like a loon. There have been many puns made and random appearances.

But a few days ago, I decided it was time to pack her away again.

I woke up late, and scrambled to get my work stuff ready No time to cook the little breakfast.

“Just grab a yogurt, buddy.”

He went to the fridge and opened it, and there she was.

Normal people don’t have these, do they?

Clearly, my husband was hoping to wake me up faster than a fire drill by putting the head in the fridge for me to find when I got breakfast ready.

I? Would have screamed and hopped around the kitchen inventing a whole new string of child appropriate expletives.

My son? Grabbed the mannequin head by the hair, tossed it onto the floor and said, “What’s this doing here?”

He grabbed his yogurt, calmly stepped over the head to grab a spoon and plopped down on the couch to watch Max & Ruby.

Did I mention he’s only four?

Yeah, this kid doesn’t stand a chance

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