Trick or Treat


*KNOCK*KNOCK*KNOCK*

Trick or Treat!

I love Halloween.

It’s always been my favorite holiday. Not for the candy, but for the dressing up, the casting off of one reality in favor of another.

As a grow-up I have a deep appreciation for employers who allow staff to enjoy this.

I’ve always gone all-out with my work costumes. One year I was bigfoot – it took weeks to make that costume. I was the Queen of Narnia the next year and busted out my wedding dress for that one.

One of my favorites was Miss Fortune, with an elaborate gypsy fortune-teller costume, complete with a hundred “misfortunes’ hand written on little slips of paper to hand out. Don’t look up!

This year took some thought, but I finally thought of a great one.

I’m a baby doll.

And no, not the 19.99 whore version of the costume, donned to look sexy.

Sure, I have the blue and white checked dress with the puffed sleeves and cute little apron. But they modestly come down to my knees.

But baby dolls – real ones – are plastic. So I spent an hour laying a thin film of latex over my carefully blushed face  to give me the waxy look of plastic.

The long eyelashes make it hard to blink, which is good, in a way – the more still I am, the more complete the illusion.

It’s a rockin’ costume. Creepy. I’m glad I thought of the latex, it works perfectly for this.

I feel so festive, and I could win the company costume contest.

Except. . .

I’m not there.

I work from home.

Alone.

Suddenly, things just shifted, didn’t they?

I’m no longer a fun person to work with, embracing the office silliness.

Now I’m a creepy nutjob, sitting at my desk, looking like a full-sized plastic dolly – all by myself.

There is definitely a little bit of crazy in that, isn’t there?

So it’s good that this is only a trick.

Because just thinking about doing the full-blown dress up doesn’t make me crazy.

Right?

 

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