That was my breaking news this morning. I am a criminal. But it was totally an accident.
A little background to this revelation:
In February, my bank account was compromised, a hefty sum was withdrawn by not one, but two different organizations. Because one is never enough.
Those withdrawals caused a shit ton of checks to bounce. Each with a 30.00 price tag at my bank, and additional fees ranging between 20.00 and 40.00 at the receiving banks.
The super nice guy at my bank went to bat for me, and about a month after it happened, one of the organizations paid me back what they withdrew and the fees imposed by my bank for their portion of the fun.
One of them issued a refund for the withdrawal, but stuck me for the bank fees (Thanks LogMeIn!).
But by then I had missed a mortgage payment, withdrawn my son from school and eaten PB&J for weeks. The damage to our finances in the end exceeded two week pay.
I have been paying people back, making arrangements and generally been insane in the face of anything with a price tag ever since (Yes, I have yelled at my husband for buying my son a candy bar during this period).
My husband’s boss was priority number one. Seven checks to that organization bounced bang bang bang for them. Since the last thing we could deal with was him getting fired for running checks we weren’t running, this decision was a no brainer.
One of the checks was to my fuel company. Who had, just a couple of weeks before, a check bounce because Destructor (AKA hubs) had written a check out of order that I failed to discover while balancing the checkbook. Upon receiving the notification, I immediately called and issued payment via debit card.
Despite expressly assuring me that they were not keeping my card on file, they did.
Then they used it without permission or notice. Two days before I had intended to pay them.
Which caused a nasty cycle of MORE bouncy checks.
I kind of freaked out a little, called the bank again and was advised to contact the fuel company and see if they would reverse the charges, and if they refused, to contact the Visa Fraud department.
I called them and *may* have freaked out a lot on the phone, for lying, for illegally keeping the numbers without permission, wanting to the name of the secure, encrypted financial software they had my data stored in (they wouldn’t tell me), for creating ANOTHER cycle of this after I had called and explained the situation in the first place.
So they reversed the charges.
BUT. Heidi? Heidi at the Fuel Company has the personality of a pit viper. She is hostile, arrogant, self-important and abrasive. And that was my opinion BEFORE all of this. But then she lied to me. And stole from me. And cost me money. So for her swift rise to the top of position of Asschampion, she became last on my list to repay. I have sitting in Bill Pay outbox 3 payments over the next 6 weeks totaling the amount of the check, plus an extra bit for the bounced check fees.
But alas, it is too late. Officer Marks called me today to inform me that they intend to press criminal charges against me. I explained the situation quickly to the officer, including their illegal use of my information and non-encrypted storage, and my payments scheduled out.
He told me that he would bring the information to them, but that he is bound to tell them that if they accept my 1/3 payment then the matter dissolves into a Civil Suit, and that typically business do not opt to accept.
Of course this is the day after we spent 300.00 on tires. Which now leaves me in the position of skipping my mortgage payment AGAIN, or, well, going to jail.
Can I get a “Fuck, yeah!”