I’m snide. And sarcastic. And I have an atrocious pirate vocabulary. But really, it’s not my fault. It’s on account of the world sucking.
This has made me angry and bitter and impatient.
The world doesn’t suck.
But you people – you meme-flinging, cause-obsessed, politically self-righteous plebeians keep reminding me of the suck.
A few years back when the Live Strong rubber cause bracelet was in its heyday, I actually had a woman at the gym ask me why I didn’t have one. She had a skinny million of them in a rainbow of colors, though most people sported the yellow Live Strong ones.
Don’t I support ending Cancer?
No. I don’t.. I like Cancer. I’m glad we have Cancer. Because I didn’t need either of my Grandmothers, or my Father. And it was just ducky to watch them suffer before they died too. That part was kind of a bonus.
Honestly. Is there anyone that doesn’t want to see an end to Cancer? Do you really need to make me appear to be socially retarded just because I’m not wearing a little rubber bracelet saying so?
Facebook may be the worst offender. Every morning, scrolling down through my newsfeed over a leisurely cup of coffee, when suddenly…
…the picture of the starved, bloodied, half-dead dog. I need to like that picture if I am against animal abuse
….the bloodied baby, victim of domestic abuse. Better like that to show my support for anti-violence programs.
…the poor young girl that needs a kidney transplant, 1 million likes will get it for free!!
But the very concept of liking anything like that is repugnant. Of course I am against animal abuse. And I’d hazard a guess that I am in the majority here. And who in their right mind doesn’t wish for less family violence?
And that kidney? Bullshit. Likes don’t pay the hospital bills. Even if there WERE a doctor shallow enough to accept social media popularity as currency, there is still the hospital, the support staff and follow through organizations – those will all demand real money.
Why do you feel the need to throw those up and carry forward the shitty, shallow, BAD parts of the world?
Seriously. I really want to know. I just don’t get it.
I may even sound like a hypocrite here, since my posts are never sunshiny rainbows of joy or anything. I post about death, angst, anger and the terrible beat down of living a life unlucky.
I recognize that there is funny in it. I try to make you laugh with most of my posts.
Sure, it sucks for ME that the porch roof blew off and I was locked inside by a 3ft indoor snowbank.
But for you, that’s pretty funny.
So, your morning memes, the support tokens you buy that send approximately 3 cents to your favorite charity – what do they do?
They’re badges. Symbols. They are the Abercrombie label that bespeak of your strive toward popularity and acceptance.
So here is a novel idea. Instead of flashing your badge and feeling good for your latest peacock feather, DO something.
Donate time or money to your local animal shelter. Donate toys or clothes to family refuge programs. Give blood, or better yet, become an organ donor.
And what is even better than that? Do it, and don’t tell a soul.
You will be a better human being for it.
And stop putting that shit up in my newsfeed.