Epiphany Courtesy of Triberr, Gary Busey and Bidets

I am sure by now many of you know that I am one of several bloggy Brand Ambassadors for Cottonelle’s Lets Talk Bums campaign. You might’ve already seen my first post. And my third.

This is the second. Or the second second. Okay, Technically, this is the third second.

You can tell how well the second post is going by the collapse of my basic counting skills.

The first second was going to be a vlog, something new for me.

New is good. Right?

WAIT! What was I thinking? What I meant was:

That’s right. Run. A. Way.

New things freak me out. I like my nice, little, introverted world where I know the Tool playlist is exactly 1 hour and 57 minutes long, the screen door needs to be jiggled before I can open it, and the smell of the cat food I buy is going to make me gag first thing in the morning.

So I got the first effort all made, taking a page out of the Cherry Healy videos like this one:

So I busted out the snazzy video editing software provided to me by my super awesome software company employer and…no audio

Where’s the audio?

There’s NO audio track?

Without the audio, I just look like a demented silent film era stalker ambushing people while brandishing toilet paper and wipes. It was a muted Benny Hill skit without Little Oldman.

So I tried take two. But I didn’t have time or energy (so siick!) to recreate my original idea, so I coupled the necessity of grocery shopping while hauling around a sick kid, and the need to try the video shtick once more.

Plan B included merging several itty bitty clips of my evening into one short.

Here’s one of my son whiiiining about the belly ache that has plagued us all for the past week:


What’s that now? An error?

Of course it’s a freaking error, because the new buttons on the snazzy cool uber expensive work toy were too complicated for me to nail in five minutes, so I reverted back to Windows Movie maker. But…


That little revelation came after I had spent about a half hour just trying to rotate the video in the slick work gizmo. Because of course, I, being me, recorded 3 of the 4 videos upside down.

Seriously, I need a keeper.

Then I spent another half hour trying to get the audio clips to align with the video in Movie Maker before realizing there are no format options on Save.

So I scrapped that effort, too. Why had I even been thinking about a video in the first place?

New things freak me out. I am not good at them.

So here I am, doing what I do – writing.

But this little exercise, coupled with the strangely high volume of bidet posts I have read recently has taught me something.

New is not necessarily bad. It’s just different. And sometimes, it is best to ease into something new, rather than lunge headlong as I am inclined to do.

During the course of one of the bidet posts, I admitted that it was too far outside of my  box; that even trying the Cottonelle wipes had kind of freaked me out – I sat there just looking at it for a while. Like I was afraid it would bite, or something.

I am typically one of those people who pace a while at the edge of the icy water, then dive in without even so much as sticking a toe in first. Then I shiver out, vowing never to do that again.

Vlogging is dumb, why did I even consider it?

I mentally dumped the whole idea, not for the post, but forever. Because it was way outside of my comfort zone, and the first effort was met with failure. Why walk into the same door twice?


The whole Cottonelle thing is taking people out of their comfort zone to get them to try something new.

Maybe new is not my problem. Perhaps it is the approach.

I mean, if it were Gary Busey or Alan Rickman bopping through airports, asking people about their nether business, I don’t think it would have worked as well.

Just like diving in with no idea how to make proper videos and expecting to pull a decent one off didn’t work so well.

But maybe throwing the Cottonelle baby out with the Gary Busey bath water isn’t the way to go.

So I’m going to give it another go. Later. I’m going to mess around with the video editor for a while, first. Figure out, you know, how to hold the camera right side up. Maybe read up on it, or something.

But I’m going to try again. Wiggle out of my comfort zone in smaller increments.

So there it is, a life lesson brought to me by Triberr and Cottonelle.

I need a nap.




3 thoughts on “Epiphany Courtesy of Triberr, Gary Busey and Bidets

  1. Lynnette, this is hilarious; I completely lost it when you were talking about FILE TYPE NOT SUPPORTED and then realized you’d filmed 3 of the 4 vids upside down. I do shit like that ALL the time. Once, I was “rebutting” a post by Andi-Roo, and I wound up with her title, my text, and my title and my text. It floated around in cyber space for a few hours until I checked on it. I was so horrified, I almost committed hari-kari. I have no idea how I did that. I’ve also followed my own self on my blog and I have some lovely videos of a flower I’ll share with you on FB. I’m not stupid; it’s just new and weird stuff and when people move things around or change websites, it gives me fits. But, damn! That was funny as hell! Great, great post and you are a wonderful woman and an awesome writer. Thanks!


    • It really is astonishing how often I stumble into things like this. A friend told me the other day my life is like a constant rolling episode of I Love Lucy. And the really amazing thing is how often my fails are technology based. I TRAIN people how to work with computers. And I really am smart, I’m going to go take the Mensa test in a week, for crying out loud. Yet I still do this stuff. All. The. Time.


      • I trained people in software, wrote it, deployed it and supported mainframes, pcs and operating systems. I KNOW you’re really really smart. I am too. But there must be this gene or something. You’ll ace MENSA. I beat a room full of engineers when I was 23. 😉


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