Why Are Christmas Cards So Hard?

I really hate flamingos. I’m not sure why, it’s just one of those things that has crept along through though my entire life as a steady constant — like my fear of ticks or my love of Ethyl Merman. It just is.

I also procrastinate. I work under the illusion that I perform better that way. Like right now I should be knocking out some training videos for the software company I work for, but I’m doing this instead.

One would think those are two unrelated facts. But at the moment they have clashed into the shape of my problem of the day.

Christmas cards.

Procrastination has always led to issues here. As a matter of fact, on the left of my desk is last year’s Christmas card to my husband’s aunt in California and a few others. No stamp. I forget to go to the post office. Apparently for a year at a time.

Stupid rural living.

I’d stopped sending them for a few years, but was informed that Christmas cards with a photo of the kiddo is an obligatory part of being a parent. Who knew?

Then last year little Q asked why we didn’t have a wall full of cards like everyone else.

“Well bud, Probably because we don’t send any many,” (teeny lie, it will be forgiven).

“Why not?”

Why not, indeed.

So this year? Cards.

But that means I need to buy some. And I tried. But when I look at the selection, I just end up depressed by the lack of creativity. They are just so boring.

I used to go all artsy and make my own, but who has time for that with kids and work and the rest of life? (Shut up, über Mom. I don’t want to hear it)

Then I remembered I have a cache of cards in the attic. Left overs from various years of my own mother’s near psychotic devotion to Christmas. Cool.

But I procrastinated some more when it came to digging them out. And today, I am paying for that.

I forgot that my Mom often buys cards with scripture and elegant images of 3 wise men, or the Christ child in a manger.

Not my approach. If I sent those out, no doubt I would have people knocking on my door to see if I was still right in the head. I know, I know. Jesus is the reason for the season and all that. But not all the people I know are Christian. There are a few Hanukkah folks in my mix (yeah, I already missed you guys, sorry), some Pagan solstice folks  and some that participate purely on the commercial level.

So no religious themed cards. Just cards. And is it too much to ask that they be funny? Do funny people not draw, or something? Why are these cards so freaking bland????

But when I finished weeding out the scripture cards, there was only one set left.

flamingosMerry Christmas.



2 thoughts on “Why Are Christmas Cards So Hard?

    • Of course you did. I went off on a brief tangent about friends like you that think this flamingo thing is funny and give me little gifts and trinkets, but deleted it because it dragged the post all over the place. Not that that normally stops me, but it’s the holiday season. Who has time for long blog posts?


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